Not Doomed to Fail After All

Isn't it common knowledge that 50% of all marriages end in divorce? This misleading statistic has given rise to the widely held belief that every marriage has a half and half chance of failing or staying together. The attitude has become that marriage is a great risk where the odds aren't exactly in your favor. Well, here is an interesting fact: it is not true that 50% of couples get divorced, just that half of all marriages end in divorce. Let me explain. Let's say out of five siblings in a family there are five divorces. That seems like the divorce rate in that family is 100% right? But in all reality one sibling could be married and divorced 5 times while the other 4 stay happily married to their original spouse their entire lives. This could change the view on marriage and the perceived inevitability of divorce.

Of people who's marriages ended in divorce, 70% said that could have and should have saved their marriage. In some instances there may be no other option. But when there is a change to save your marriage maybe it will actually cause less pain to do so than to go through a difficult divorce. I can't pretend to know the deep pain that many marriages struggle with and I do not with to make light of suffering in an unhappy relationship, I just wish that someone had told those close to me not to divorce. I wish someone had told them there is hope. I wish someone would have mentioned the pain that can come from blended families.

But of course there are blended families that really do well and are happy and successful. For those of you struggling with the complications of remarried families research says that these are helpful tips to reaching the highest level of satisfaction and functioning:

1. Realize it will take at least 2 years to reach normalcy
2. The birth parent needs to do most of the discipline
3. The Parent coming into the family should take the role of a fantastic "aunt or uncle"
4. With discipline there needs to be a lot of talk between the parent and the step parent, the biological parent just delivers the conclusion to the child

Marriages and families are difficult all around. No one has the perfect family. But we all have a perfect father. Our Heavenly Father will help us in striving to find happiness and harmony in our families. Through his his prophets he has given us a never ending formula for marital success. Here is a link to some advice. http://www.mormonchannel.org/magazines/ensign/2006/5/nurturing-marriage